Stutter Thy Not

I like when life teaches me a lesson. It’s even better when I learn it from someone I know, someone I love. Here’s a little story that I think is worth the read.

For a time we lived in Chicago. We enjoyed the best the city had to offer and we could afford. We had lots a friends. Two of our friends, Mark & Pete, had a very nice little apartment just north of Belmont in the Lakeview neighborhood (Mark correct me if I’m wrong). They liked to host parties and we dropped in often.

One summer evening we had just arrived at such a party. It was very festive with music, drinks, appetizers and a great group of their friends that were both interesting and fun to get to know. Once again, another successful evening all the way around.

At one point some new guests had arrived and took their place at one of the tables set out around the backyard. The weather was perfect and a warm summer breeze blew as the sun set on a cloudless sky.

He caught my attention right away. Between the music and friendly conversations there was a noise, a discordant sound that nagged at my ear and forced me to find the source, and I did. One of the new arriving guest was at a table next to us. He suffered from Tourette’s Syndrome, and he had it bad.

Tourette’s Syndrome is a problem with the nervous system that causes people to make sudden movements or sounds that they can’t control. It often starts in childhood, and more boys than girls get it, turns out. Symptoms often get better as children grow up. For some people, they go away completely, not so much for this poor lad.

I had seen this from time to time riding on the Chicago trains and busses. It’s a terrible disability. This young gentleman was braver than I think I could have been. He was friends with Mark and Pete and now I could not stop looking at him. My wife, Carrie, joined me in the curiosity and decided to introduce ourselves.

Carrie, always the active listener and kind heart jumped in with both feet. We introduced ourselves and he invited us to sit with him. I found him fascinating. He was managing a complicated urban life with this infliction and doing a darn good job at it. The irregular sounds that emitted between sentences were both confusing and frustrating for him and his company. Carrie asked about his condition and listened intently as he laid out his story. He had suffered with it since childhood and never really got over it. He owned a craft service and most of the production companies that used Chicago for filming movies. And he was involved in Open Hand, a food bank that fed HIV/Aids patients. He loved his work. The problem was that it was constantly difficult to communicate with others.

Then something amazing happened. I seen it with my own eyes and ears. I couldn’t really believe it. After just fifteen minutes with my wife in deep conversation, her always asking the questions and wanting to listen, he began to relax and his tics began to fade. Then they were gone. I was watching two people just talking, normally with no issues, actually friendships forming. I fell in love with my wife all over again, like so many times before.

I learned the power of offering a heart filled with love can move mountains. Then someone dropped a glass of wine and it broke. People screamed and then laughed. And the tics were back. He couldn’t control them and he knew it. I felt sorry for this young man, plagued with a demon that lived inside him.

I don’t know where he is today but I wish him well.

And I kiss my wife every chance I get.

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