Like so many times in my life, I suddenly found myself out of work and looking for another job. It wasn’t that I was a bad employee, quite the opposite. I was a hard worker and I was developing excellent software coding/architecting skills which I would argue were sharpened by being in many different companies and industries. Now, I am a Taurus so I am a bit stubborn. So why so many jobs? I have this crazy idea that doing the right thing is the best option. Silly me.
So, suddenly I was between jobs and bored. This is usually when trouble begins to brew and my wife, Carrie, and I vacation somewhere and buy her jewelry. We are VERY practical with our money. For some reason, Florida was calling us. We had only visited Orlando at that time and did that Mickey Mouse thing once. I wanted to see the ocean. So we set our sights on Miami, Miami Beach to be more precise. We packed our bags and boarded a plane heading for The Sunshine State.
Ahhh! That feeling we all know when we step into soft sunny sand, close our eyes and look up to feel our very own sun casting the warmth of holiday love on our cheeks. Never gets old. I immediately knew this was a very good idea, this Miami Beach vacation. My lovely wife was sporting a new bathing suit (traje de baño for my Spanish friends) and it looked fabulous! We only had four days and we were going to make them count. The next morning we finished off some complimentary breakfast at the hotel and headed out for some light shopping. With new jewelry in hand and fancy coffee in our bellies, we meandered through the shopping district. That’s when I saw it. I stopped in my tracks.
“What are you looking at?” Carrie asked. “Do you see that? Right there. An inflatable pool mattress” I blurted out with maybe too much caffeine. I spotted it in the store window and made a quick calculation. I could take this to the beach and take it out into the ocean. How cool would that be? Five minutes later, we were at the store counter and my wallet was out. She got her necklace, I got my toy. Life is good!
That afternoon we splashed on tons of sunscreen. We grabbed towels and sandals and prepared for a full afternoon on the beach. Carrie nestled into the perfect-spot for sunbathing while I blew and blew until my new toy was ready for me. Finally it was full and waiting for its maiden voyage. I kissed my wife and set sail for adventure and bold new worlds. The water was warmer than I expected so I had no complaints to wrangle with. Swimming on a raft isn’t the most efficient means of crossing water but, boy is it fun. I kept going and going. The Atlantic Ocean was mine.
Like married couples are prone to do, Carrie and I are hard-wired in a way that does not always require verbal communication, a sixth sense if you will. She sat up on her towel at the precise moment I sat up on the raft and looked back at her. We exchanged hand-waves and I was somewhat struck at how far out I had come. I watched her roll over and start baking the other side when I decided I should head back. Unfortunately, in trying to turn around, I slid off the raft and into the deep. And that’s when it happened.
There are things in life that can make the hair on your skin rise, make the thoughts in your mind toxic, or make an oversized bladder loosen. I experienced all of the above. For you see, my dear reader, I had slipped off the raft and into the water, but no, my feet did not find the ocean. No, no, they landed on something directly below me, a living animal of the sea. That’s not what I expected at all.
With the quickest of motions I found myself back on the raft and moving at jet-like speed to land. I could not afford to look back and waste time. Time it seems was moving slowly and I not. I was able to get back to shore, a full quarter mile, in mere seconds. Carrie may have sensed something was up because as I touched down onto the beach she sat up on her towel again. The time between her rolling over and sitting up may have been less than one minute. Turns out I can move damn quick when I am afraid for my life.
Lesson learned? Respect the sea and pick your dinner seafood choice carefully.
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That was a freaky time. I don’t remember going in the water much after that. So glad the animal was not hungry. That would have been a totally different story coming from me. I love happy endings!
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