Casting a Movie

What does Michele Phillips, Tim Conway and I all have in common? The answer: one night in Lansing, Illinois. You may remember that I worked at an Italian restaurant as a dishwasher in the story: The Day I Learned to Hate Pâté. It was always hard work, but it was also therapy for me. I was taking college classes full time and work was a break from the mental stress.

The restaurant was owned by an older Italian couple in my neighboring town of Munster. I worked at a restaurant on the state line just inside of Illinois. It was a steak joint called Vinny’s. The steaks were good and the seafood too. They had a marvelous salad bar as well. I worked on weekends as their dishwasher. My station was large and filled with commercial cleaning gear, everything stainless steel. I enjoyed my work. No books. Just a chance to not think.

One day I learned that there was something big coming to the restaurant. I needed to find out what and learn more. One of the kitchen prep chefs had gotten word that some famous people were coming to our restaurant. The whole restaurant was reserved for a massive private party. I wanted to know more. She had more to share. Apparently some Italian family in town was offering to back a new movie and they had a lot of money.

Another chef had heard that Michele Phillips from the Mamas and Papas and Tim Conway from The Carol Burnett Show were being considered in the casting and they would be attending the big dinner event right here at Vinny’s. Strange partners for a movie, but I’m not a casting agent or a director so what do I know.

Three weeks later the big event had been scheduled and prepared for. All hands on deck. I got to meet people on staff that I rarely see. The parking lot and restaurant were packed full. Stretch limousines were pulling in as well. I was instructed to wear my best clothes. Drinks from the bar were landing in the hands of all who were present. At one point and totally unexpected, the whole staff was asked to come out and shake hands with the celebrities. So yes, I have shaken hands with both Michele and Tim. Both had warm, inviting smiles. I felt important, even if all I was, was the dishwasher of some Italian dinner club.

But there was trouble in the back and the moment was over. I went back to check on things and found one of the busboys bleeding excessively from his forearm. He had pulled a garbage bag out of a container and swung his other arm underneath to balance the weight, only to find that a broken drink glass was at the bottom of the bag and cut right into his forearm. An ambulance was there within ten minutes.

Then there were some gunshots. I didn’t know where they were coming from. But limousines were filling back up and celebrities were disappearing. The moment, so brief, had passed.

No movie. No cast. Just lots and lots of dirty dishes.

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